..lost soul..

Where am I? Who am I? These two questions keep on bothering me for the last few days...

Years ago, I knew this girl who really love to write, her passion is to write, express and share her thoughts through writing. But now, this girl is lost. Looking for answers and finding the questions...

Why do we have to study specific courses and end up working the opposite of what we studied? Why do we have to work hard just to pass four-years of studying, tests, and even projects? But where do we end up?Not on the field that we were trained for. And the most ironic part is, having a degree yet working on an field which we hated the most. 

They say, have a goal that will persuade you to pursue what you want.. I have goals, I have dreams and I  worked hard reaching this dream, but where am I? Still in the place that I least expected I would be. 

I'm saying that I'm not happy for where I am right now, a lot of people would love to be in my place, yet, there's a longing in my heart that I couldn't fill. The happiness is incomplete...I'm looking for something that I know is impossible...Maybe I sound pessimistic, but I'm just being practical. 

It's so hard having this kind of feeling, always looking for things that you have no idea what they are. It's just 5 months that I've been to where I am right now, but I'm starting to look for changes already. I can't understand myself. I'm thorned between two choices, follow my heart or my mind? Choosing a career is difficult, maybe I have to understand more of myself before I could choose. 

I'm just praying that one day, I could find that  peace of mind that I'd been looking for...^,^ see?I'm not pessimistic all the time, I still have that sense of optimism in me...^,^Enough for this...Got to work again...*.*